Some of you may know that I recently moved. While my new house is still technically “in the city limits”, it is enough outside the hustle and bustle that we can enjoy up close and personal encounters with our wildlife neighbors.
Sometimes a little too up close and personal.
The other night I closed up the house and got ready to head to bed. I went up the stairs, washed my face, brushed my teeth, got in my PJ’s and had just climbed into bed with my book, when something moved out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was a moth, and turned my head just in time for something much bigger to swoop by.
This was not a moth, but a bat. In my room.
Now, I am not freaked out by most of the creepy crawly creatures we share the planet with. Give me a mouse or a snake or a spider and I can deal. Even in my bedroom.
But put wings on the critter and let it blindly dive bomb my head and it’s a whole other story.
I threw the book in my hand over my head as a shield, jumped off the bed, and made my way across the room in a half run, half crawl position. (I’m sure there was logic behind this stance at the time). I somehow managed to throw open the sliding glass door on one end of the room and make it back to the stairs and down without making physical contact with the bat.
Once downstairs, I bravely took up my post:-hiding around the corner at the bottom of the stairs – and cautiously peeked up the stairs every few minutes waiting for the bat to fly out.
Except every time I looked, it was still there. Swooping back and forth across the room.
After about 15 minutes, I realized that this visitor may not show himself out, and I was going to be forced back upstairs to help.
I also realized, standing there in my PJ’s, that I was not exactly battle ready.
The problem was, all my battle gear was in my room. With the bat.
I scavenged around in the lower levels and finally found suitable battle gear: One of my kiddo’s sweatshirts, a large straw hat and a broom as a weapon. For good measure, I grabbed a basket off the counter for a shield.
Thus armed, I slowly crept back up the stairs. I made it halfway up before I was again treated to a fly-by from my equally panicked guest.
I tried to use the broom as a gentle guide to show him the door, but he was not having it. If I swung to the front, he went behind me. If I whirled around, he feinted to the other side.
Sneaky little bugger.
I admit. I retreated back down the stairs. But only to regroup for plan B.
From my perch around the corner, I realized that the air conditioner and the fan were on in my room, and that the wind from those might be confusing the critter and keeping him from finding the door. The problem was, the A/C was on one end of the room and the fan on the other. And the bat was swooping in the air between.
While I was trying to gather the courage for a fool hardy, kamikaze mission to attempt to shut both of these off, I realized the bat had ceased swooping.
Maybe he had finally found his way to the door??
Armed with my broom, I slowly crept back up the stairs to see.
There he was, perched on the wall beside my bed. Resting.
I took the opportunity to creep from one end of the room to the other and turn off the fan and the A/C, and made it back to the stairs just as he decided to start swooping again.
Finally, after another 10 minutes or so, I didn’t see any more movement up there. Fingers crossed I crept back up the stairs to evaluate my territory.
I slowly kept creeping forward and didn’t see him perched on the walls or any place I could easily see.
I was not, however, about to throw open the doors to the bathroom or closet or climb into bed without being sure.
The bugger was probably hiding in my pillows.
And I couldn’t be sure without backup. What if there was a sneak attack??
And my backup was still at work until midnight.
I text my child to tell him about the invader and outline the battle plan for when he got home.
I got, “What do you want me to do??” with the laughing emoticon, as a response.
He’s lucky I needed him as an ally.
Finally, after midnight, we were able to complete the recon mission, check the closets, under the bed and the pillows and ensure the enemy was indeed gone.
I still slept with one eye open for the rest of the night.